This won’t be a long post today guys…
Ok maybe not today exactly, but around today Billy and I would’ve been welcoming our baby into this world. It’s so surreal to think 6 months ago our worlds were turned around and spun upside down by the devastating news our baby had passed away whilst still in my tummy.
I remember everything like it was yesterday, the same heartbreak, the same numbness and the same feeling of letting my baby down.
No matter what the wonderfully supportive people around me say, this feeling will never leave me. I will always question what more I could’ve done and what I did wrong. It’s a battle I constantly fight with myself even though on the outside I’m dealing with this and moving forward.
In some aspects I am. I have amazing things ahead of me and so much to look forward to. I am happy, I have a wonderful husband who has kept me sane through a lot of heartaches, obstacles and general day to day life, and my family. I’m blessed to have been raised by such amazing people.
I want to remember this day in a positive way. As devastating as the feeling is, I believe when our time is right, we can have a family. I just think the world wasn’t ready for a mini Sharan or Billy…….I can’t really blame the world I’d be scared about that too.
It’s not something I’ll ever forget but I don’t want to remember my loss, but instead, learn. Learn to be happy and make the most out of life, so that when we do have children I have wonderful stories to tell to make them proud. I have a busy 2018 ahead for so many amazing things, but one of those things will be fulfilling goals I have set…..skydiving…..tattoo….exploring a different country….who knows.
For anybody who has been or is going through a similar situation, all I can say is stay positive, surround yourself with good people and remember there is always a light at the end of the darkness!!
Thank you for taking the time out to read this,